Happiness

Summary

This is not a ‘future tech’ blog but something more important, personal than happiness. If you read the book, ‘The Good Life‘, you will be amazed at the conclusion of an 85 year study by Harvard University. Simply, talk to people!

Your relationships are important for not only your happiness but also your health. The study began in 1938, chauvinistically involving a large group of Harvard educated men and young Boston boys from disadvantaged families. It grew to include their children, their partners and now equal numbers of men and women.

Although many young people put making money or becoming famous as their goals, older people say happiness is more important than wealth or success. Many people in menial work can be happier than their bosses.

This is best explained by the shorter video below, but there are about 15 videos on the same subject.

Video by the Articulate Harvard Psychiatrist and Psychoanalyst

Other longer but (some) more recent videos are:

• https://youtu.be/IStsehNAOL8
• https://youtu.be/44_xUdgiqyA
• https://youtu.be/IStsehNAOL8
• https://youtu.be/eZOQWqnSsUM
• https://youtu.be/rAsc-3C5NRA

Key Points of the Study

• Most old relationships fall by the wayside through lack of contact or effort. Women seem to be much better at keeping up relationships than men. In some cultures, it may not seem masculine to discuss confidences, but many men have close friends with whom anything can be discussed.
• It doesn’t matter if you are an extrovert or an introvert, whether you make friends easily or not. But you do need at least one close friend or partner to whom you can turn to discuss difficulties when you need help or just for a chat anytime.
• People contact flourishes if you join activities you enjoy or need. Sport, gyms, book clubs, walking groups, bridge, etc. Cultivate friends at work, where you live, common interests, etc. Make the effort, it pays!
• When you go shopping or even pass people in the street, train yourself to smile at them, even say good morning or afternoon! It can lead to laughs and further remarks. Both parties get a lift and it invariably works. Talk to the delivery person, the postman, the barista, the shopkeeper, etc. Talk to your partner more, be considerate and get out of boring routines. Do more activities together. It works.
• It is never too late. One person late in life was married to a woman that never wanted to go anywhere or discuss anything. He moved out and even though he was introverted and had no close friends, he started going to the gym out of boredom. Someone talked to him. He enjoyed it and started talking to others. They became friends, socialised together and his happiness soared.
• The study showed that those with good relationships were not only happier but healthier, lived longer and were less likely to get dementia or heart problems, etc. The study was detailed and included brain scans, blood tests etc.
• Life is never perfect and stress is unavoidable. But happier people return to normal from the fight or flight mode quicker.

References

• The Good Life
• LifeSpan Research